Fear is how I Fall
by nightfallsupernova
Summary: Damon sleeps with Elena and regrets it, finally realizing that she was just a Katherine transferance thing and he knows it was not worth losing Stefan over. Caroline pays him a visit with some home truths and helps him deal with the fallout. Set after s4. episode 7.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: new story, it was really inspired by the Linkin Park song Crawling.**

**i dont know if i will be continuing this, there is a chance there might be two more chapters if i can get some ideas going but if not then it will just be a one shot. JP has kind of ruined daroline for me with the way she is writing the show so its hard to write the two charcters with JP's character assination of caroline and damon getting worse every week. enjoy.**

* * *

_Crawling in my skin,_

_These wounds they will not heal,_

_Fear is how i fall,_

_Confusing what it real,_

**Crawling - Linkin Park**

* * *

Damon walked away from Elena when she cornered him in the boarding house where he had been thinking about the other night and it just felt all wrong to him, he knew she would never love him back or ever be his first choice.

He decided to stay away from her, that he didn't want to see her anymore and if he was honest with himself he felt little cheaper then he needed to after the other night.

It had been a few days after they slept together and to be honest he had kind of been avoiding her at all costs until she cornered him in his house demanding they talk about what happened.

He had no idea how she got in considering he thought he locked the front door but obviously not since she was standing in front of him with the 'oh so like Katherine' features and expressions.

Before he walked away Elena asked "_why are you avoiding me" _pleadingly.

He stood up and faced her silently before replying "_I've been thinking…we're done Elena, I can't do this to Stefan, I thought I felt something for you but I think its more to do with Katherine, the other night felt all wrong to me and I realized I was never over Katherine, I saw in you what I wanted to see in Katherine, and because of that it brought out the worst in me" _softly before falling silent.

Elena looked at him silently before replying "_your serious, I thought you were over Katherine, Stefan said you were" _firmly.

Damon smirked replying "_our fixation on you was a little obvious we weren't, we just didn't want to see it, I think part of you knew that too but you just didn't want to see it" _firmly.

He further added "_I think me wanting you to be like Katherine was the reason I tried to force you drink human blood but the last few days I realized I don't love you, I thought I did but I think it was transference or rebound or whatever the hell they call it these days, you have to admit the other night wasn't great, I didn't feel anything and I don't think you did either" _before falling silently.

Elena was stunned knowing he might have been right at the last bit and it showed replying "_I never meant to make you or Stefan feel like that, I'm just confused, you know I try so hard to not be like Katherine but somehow I just seem to fail no matter what I do" _softly.

Damon slightly nodded his head replying _"I think we should avoid each other from now on, I think its best if you don't come around here anymore" _softly. Elena baulked replying "_but you're my friend" _softly.

Damon slightly smiled replying "_I don't think we are and you're not my friend, I think its best if you stay with Bonnie or Caroline, they can protect you but I need space to clear my head and I cant get it if you are here" _firmly.

Elena shook her head in disbelief replying "_I'm sorry for making you feel that way" _as she looked at him.

Damon didn't really buy her apology replying "_whatever Elena" _indifferently thinking she could go feed her lies to someone who was stupid enough to believe them.

He didn't give her a chance to say anything as he walked past her and left the house feeling a weight off his shoulders thinking it felt good to have finally said it out loud. It felt good to have finally seen that Elena was just a Katherine replacement and she could never be Katherine because they had two different personalities even if there both manipulative.

Katherine was fun and loved being a vampire and had no problem with the snatch, eat and erase thing that he used since he turned.

But Elena was horrified by the thought of having to do that and she didn't want to and when he thought about it, he knew he should have realized she could never be a Katherine replacement no matter how much he wanted her to be.

He replayed every scene over in his head where Elena and Katherine's told him it would always be Stefan and the words cut a little deeper each time he replayed them and he wished he never met them but he figured getting away from them would be a start.

He was good at this mental torture thing, hell he had over a century and half of practice as a voice in his mind whispered he should get an Oscar for this whole mental torture thing he had going for as long as he could remember.

He decided on going to the grill and when he got there he compelled a bottle of bourbon and sat in dark corner hoping he would not bump into his broody little brother. He took a long drink from the bottle as Stefan's words of "_don't pretend this isn't the happiest day of you life" _replayed in his mind over and over again. He sighed in frustration hating that everything had come crashing down around him in the last few days.

He lost his brother and if he was honest being with Elena that night felt empty, it wasn't red rockets glare like he thought it would be, it was hollow feeling and it made him hate himself even more then he already did. He spent so long wanting what he couldn't have and when he finally got it, it was a bitter disappointment. It was then he realized it was Katherine he wanted all along and not Elena.

He also knew right well he would always be second best when it came to Stefan as Elena would always choose Stefan first and he knew she would again so he made the decision to get out before he got hurt again.

He was also surprised to find he didn't really want her anymore now that he had a taste of her and it felt like he was just sloppy seconds and it was the same way he felt with Katherine too. He felt like they both never really wanted him, they only wanted him to be Stefan's replacement and he hated it, he hated that no one wanted him as their first choice.

He wondered if somewhere in the darkest corners of his mind he got some sort of sick satisfaction out of always being treated like something Elena and Katherine stepped on because lets face it, that was the way they both treated him, not that he wanted to see that, until now.

He also knew Stefan wasn't lying when he told him that comment after he apologized for Elena breaking up with him, he was happy about it but now he couldn't help feeling regretful over the situation wishing it could have turned out differently.

But then he knew he was selfish, he always had to have what he wanted and he took it no matter what the consequences were and they would always bite him in the end. He tossed back a drink thinking she was a lot more like Katherine then she and he cared to admit.

When he thought about it, the way she was acting lately, it was like he was seeing Katherine, only a more manipulative version of Katherine who couldn't even see she was acting like Katherine because she thought she was better then everyone else including Katherine.

He tossed back a long drink from the bottle not bothering with the glass deciding he was done with Elena, he was done being her punching bag, he was fed of up of her repeatedly kicking him every chance she got to tear him apart.

It felt like she had nothing better to do but belittle him every chance she got and he knew he would always be a disappointment in her eyes.

* * *

He had been sitting there for a few hours when he was broken from his reverie when someone sat at the other side of the table in front of him and he looked up seeing somber expression looking at him as she sat down in front of him with her own glass of bourbon.

He rolled his eyes quipping "_what do you want, Blondie" _tiredly.

Caroline looked at him replying "_Elena called me and told me what happened" _softly.

He coldly glared at her hiding his surprise at her words, he didn't want her pity, he was used to being treated like crap and what happened with Elena was no exception, he had a feeling it would happen and it did.

He was surprised when she further added "_but I still cant believe she forced Stefan out of his own house and then jumping you the first chance she got, so much for her not being like Katherine" _angrily.

Damon wished she would leave so he could drown in a bottle of bourbon coolly replying "_like you can talk, you have Klaus and Tyler at your feet and now Stefan too, you're just as bad as Elena" _defensively before taking a drink from the bottle.

She shook her head in disbelief seeing right through it replying "_that's where you are wrong, Stefan is my friend, and Klaus and Tyler know exactly where they stand" _firmly.

Damon took a drink from the bottle replying "_whatever" _in a dismissive tone.

Caroline scoffed retorting "_you know what, I came here to be nice and to see if you were okay but I hope she was worth it, was she really worth losing Stefan over because I don't think she was" _icily.

Damon rolled his eyes knowing she was right retorting "_your point" _icily with a glare to match.

He wished she would go away as no one was invited to his self loathing party especially when she was speaking the truth but she didn't know he felt more pathetic then she could ever make him feel.

She glared at him retorting "_I thought you might stop being an asshole after telling Elena that it was all about Katherine" _angrily.

She further added "_considering she will probably choose Stefan again, you will probably still pine after her like a puppy that lost its mother" _icily.

He internally flinched at her words hating it hit a raw nerve remaining silent as he just smirked at her before tossing back a drink with a cold expression.

She watched him silently noticing something in his eyes that was betraying his cold expression so she let out a breath of air she didn't know she was holding which was strange considering she didn't need to breath but she still did it anyway.

She watched him put the bottle on the table pushing it her direction with his fingers and she didn't know why, but she softened her expression and took a drink from the bottle as they remained silent. She put the bottle down knowing she probably should apologize but decided not to as he needed to be called out on the shit he pulled all the time and got away with it, especially with Elena.

He looked down at the glass in his hand that he just filled up before he handed her the bottle as she told him "_why do you always want what you cant have, you know Elena will never see you as her first choice and even if she decides she wants you now, you still would have only been her second choice" _softly.

He looked up at her surprised to see her soft expression hating that she spoke the truth knowing he had just been thinking the same thing hours ago but it was a different thing to hear it out loud.

He hesitated before curiously asking "_do you know where Stefan went, is he okay" _softly.

She looked at him replying "_no but why do you care" _sounding more harsh then she meant it to sound.

He softly smirked knowing she was right but it was something he couldn't get out of his mind.

She further added "_if anyone had to leave, it should have been you, and for the record, no he isn't okay but he will get over it eventually, and he isn't on a ripper binge like you want him to be" _icily.

Damon looked up at her replying "_that's not what I wanted" _softly.

Caroline shook her head in disbelief replying "_and what did you think would happen, he would be all forgiving because him and Elena had broken up, well lets just say, I wouldn't be surprised if you never hear from him again so I hope you are happy" _firmly.

Damon finished off the drink in his glass wishing Alaric was still here as he would know what to do, he would sit beside him and they would just get drunk together while planning how to kill the new threat. But no here he was wallowing in his self hated talking to Caroline of all people and she had more reason to hate him then anyone else in this town, but she was still here even if it was to rush to Stefan's defense but it was still better then no one.

He refilled his glass before looking up at her replying "_so he is still here, I guess you will be making your move" _nonchalantly.

Caroline scoffed retorting "_fuck you Damon, I'm not Elena, I don't do brothers__"_angrily.

He smirked at her before replying "_well they do all choose Stefan so I guess you will be joining that line soon" _sarcastically.

She shook her head in disbelief retorting "_you know what, you deserve everything you get, and you wonder why no one ever chooses you, maybe if you would stop wanting what Stefan has and actually grow up and stop acting like a spoilt child who didn't get what he wants, someone might actually want you" _angrily.

She stood up adding "_firstly get some self respect, stop being someone else's doormat, not what they want you to be and then maybe someone will actually choose you over Stefan" _in a hostile tone and expression before walking away. He watched her leave as her words replayed in his head and he tossed back a drink knowing she was right.

She pushed her way through the crowd wondering why the hell she came here in the first place, it didn't help that she knew her reaction to Elena having feelings for Damon was something more then hatred for him.

She realized her reaction to it was too strong for someone who was supposed to hate him and she realized she did feel something for him, she cared for him as a friend and could maybe feel something for him again.

But seeing him like this, she hated it, he was shadow of his former self and she thought it was pathetic, she hated that Elena had turned him into this self pitying, self loathing, lesser version of Stefan.

She hated that he was trying to become something he wasn't and that he would screw Stefan over just to get what he wanted but she didn't know that Damon regretted ever going after Elena in the first place.

She was near the door when she heard him say "_to answer your question, no it doesn't make me happy" _in a whisper that only she heard.

* * *

She stopped in her tracks before deciding to hear him out and went back over and sat down in front of him asking "_so why did you do it then" _softly.

He filled her in on everything that happened before he came here before rolling his eyes replying "_I thought I wanted her but guess she was just using me, just like Katherine, I'm an idiot, you can say it too" _disdainfully.

She curiously asked "_do you regret it" _with an expression to match.

He looked up at her surprised to see she wasn't being so hostile to him anymore replying "_yes and no, at least I know I will never be her first choice, but then no surprises there" _in a self deprecating tone.

He was surprised to find he was starting to hate her, he hated her attitude towards him and the way she so cruelly told him in the past she still wanted Stefan. He didn't want to see it before but when he thought about it he started to realize she was more like Katherine then she cared to admit and he wanted to see but now he was done lying to himself.

He didn't want to be treated like something she stepped on, he didn't want to be around someone who would think he was never good enough for them, it was enough he went through that with Katherine but he had enough and decided no more, he was moving on from Elena because he wasn't going to spend another century and a half pining over someone who made it clear she didn't want him.

But when he thought about he wasn't sure if he could let go so easily, she had too much of a grip on him just like Katherine did and he hated it, he might be stronger then any human on earth but he felt so powerless when it came to Elena, she had the power to shatter him into a thousand little pieces and she had no problem in making sure he was shattered into pieces on the floor metaphorically for her own entertainment.

Caroline silently looked at him seeing he really did regret creating this mess and she felt a little bad about being so harsh to him but she also knew he deserved to hear it.

Damon looked up at her adding "_I think she was just a Katherine replacement, some sort of weird transference thing, I don't know what creeps me out more, the transference thing or my century and a half Katherine obsession" _in a self deprecating tone.

He tossed back a drink from the bottle before adding "_so you're right, I am pathetic but then I thought everyone knew that" _as he rolled his eyes.

She replied "_quit with the self loathing, it doesn't suit you, leave it to the professionals like Stefan and Elena" _in slight sarcasm.

He slightly laughed running his had through his hair replying "_well I did promise Stefan an eternity of misery, I guess I succeeded" _before looking at her.

She thought about it before replying "_he will calm down eventually" _softly. He smirked replying "_not Stefan, he can hold a grudge like the best of them, if you think I can hold a grudge, he is just as bad, we are related, remember" _sarcastically.

She slightly laughed replying "_you are both idiots, you had to have known that getting involved with Elena was just a Katherine thing that would end in tears" _as she looked at him.

He thought about it before replying "_I don't think we did, we had a deal that whoever Elena chose the other would leave town, she chose Stefan but I wouldn't leave, I guess she didn't care about either of us at all because she continued to string us both along and its even worse now that she is a vampire__"_rolling his eyes.

He didn't add how he hated that history had repeated itself and even worse, he let it and felt so pathetic over it, over loving another girl who wanted his brother and not him, it was like the universe just loved playing a cruel joke on him and he was sick of it.

He was surprised when she replied "_that__'__s Elena for you, she is more like Katherine then everyone cares to admit and its about time you realized she is just using you both__"_disdainfully. He looked at her with a surprised expression replying "_I didn't think you would say that, aren't you meant to be her friend__"_softly.

She softly smiled looking off to the side replying "_I've always been second best to her, I'm her second friend after Bonnie, everyone chooses her, even you did" _in a soft whisper.

He almost missed it and couldn't hide his surprised expression that she constantly felt the same way he did about always being second best and never anyone's choice and he hated that he chose Elena over her, he wished he could go back in time and slap some sense into himself and to forget about Katherine and Elena.

She looked up at him adding "_I guess that is something we both have in common, never being anyone's choice" _softly.

He silently nodded his head in agreement not able to find anything to say that knowing that there was nothing he could say plus he also knew she wouldn't want his sympathy.

He curiously asked "_do you think it would have worked out between us if I hadn't of been so wrapped up in Katherine obsession and fixation on Elena" _with an open expression.

His expression surprised her as she wondered if he was drunk because he was talking too much which was not like him at all as she thought about his question.

She replied "_I like to think it would, but I guess we will never know" _softly as she looked at him.

He looked at her intensively replying "_I'm sorry for the way I treated you, you have more reason to hate me then anyone else in this town" _in a genuine tone.

She was surprised he actually apologized and figured he was definitely drunk replying "_as much as you annoy me, I wouldn't be here if I hated you, I would have staked you in your sleep by now if I hated you" _in a humored tone.

He raised his eyebrow at her replying "_I'd like to see you try" _teasingly.

She smirked replying "_challenge accepted" _teasingly.

He laughed at her response wondering how they got from her yelling at him to now having a conversation but he found he actually like talking to her, she actually listened unlike Elena who just judged him constantly.

But with Caroline, while she was angry she still listened to what he had to say and that never happened before, no one apart from Alaric ever wanted to listen to him or help him but she surprised him and he found he regretted ever treating her they way he did when she was human.

It was out before he could stop himself asking "_do you think we could be friends, I know I don't do friends and you don't like me but maybe someday, you know eternity is a very long time" _curiously.

She thought about it replying "_you are my friend but Stefan is my friend too, I am not going to come between you like Elena and Katherine, I have no intention of ever getting involved with Stefan in that way, I don't even see him in that way, plus I've already been with you and I'm not Elena, I don't do brothers" _with a slight smirk.

He was surprised at her honesty but he was glad to hear she didn't want Stefan so he tilted his glass in her direction replying "_got it and nice to know, so friends it is then, feel like getting drunk with me" _with a smirk.

She slightly laughed tossing back her drink replying "_fine, I can only take so much of Stefan's brooding anyway" _sarcastically.

He laughed replying "_same here and I don't blame you" _as he refilled her glass.

* * *

The conversation was getting too serious for him so he replied "_so what is the deal with you and Klaus, I saw you with him the other day at the miss mystic falls party" _curiously with an expression to match.

She tensed not wanting to tell him replying "_its nothing for you to worry about" _dismissively.

Damon felt like he was missing something, it was like they knew something he didn't and he hated it so asked "_don__'__t lie to me, I know there is something your not telling me about Klaus and Elena too__"_firmly. She looked at him hating they way he was looking so intensively at her and she couldn't deny she felt slightly intimidated by it but she couldn't get out of saying what he wanted to know.

She considered lying to him but she found she couldn't do that to him so decided to tell him the truth.

She paused before replying "_I had to go on one date with him because I made a deal with him to not kill the hybrid that wasn't sired to him anymore but then your stupid brother had to go and kill him anyway just to be Klaus's little bitch" _angrily.

Damon slightly chuckled replying "_that's Stefan for you" _rolling his eyes.

She replied "_I did what I had to do to survive and to keep us all alive, we all nearly died because of Elena and I am not going to be killed just to save her ass, she is a vampire, she can just move on and deal with it like the rest of us and if she cant then she can just go and kill herself" _angrily.

He thought about it knowing she was right, they had all nearly died for her and he found he regretted ever choosing her over anyone else.

He replied "_yeah I think I'm starting to think the same thing too, I'm an idiot" _rolling his eyes at the last few words.

She replied "_but at least now you know so you can do something about it" _before filling up her glass with the bottle on the table.

He looked at her adding "_the rest of it too, tell me" _firmly.

She paused knowing he would probably kill her but she ignored it adding "_ages ago after you nearly died from the werewolf bite I confronted Elena on her feelings for you and she said she would never admit feeling anything for you because that would make her like Katherine but she fails to realize she is Katherine 2.0 considering that she is playing you both against each other and also slept with you both but claims she cant make a choice even though she said she wants Stefan__"_softly as she waited for him to kill her.

It never happened but instead he sat there silently with a murderous blank expression replying "_thought so but I will get over it__"_icily as he thought a lot of things made sense now and he was starting to see Elena for what she really was, which was another Katherine and he hated himself for believing her lies.

She watched him uneasily telling him "_if your going to kill someone can it not be me, anyone else but me" _softly.

He looked at her with a soft smirk replying "_no one is killing anybody, I__'__m not a loose cannon like Elena and my brother along with everyone else in this town thinks I am__"_icily with an expression to match.

She replied "_I don__'__t__"_softly.

He looked at her hiding his surprise wondering why she would say that and was even more surprised when she smiled a little at him to which he just refilled her glass as he smirked at her feeling his murderous mood disappear.

There was a short silence before he asked "_do you know where Stefan is" _curiously.

She sighed knowing he was drunk so she told him "_he doesn't want to talk to you but if you must know, he is at my house, he had nowhere else to go" _softly.

He looked up at her replying "_do you think he will ever talk to me again, Elijah once said never is a very long time for a vampire, I think I'm starting to understand what he meant" _softly.

He paused before adding "_I really screwed up this time Caroline, I mean I'm selfish, I take what I want when I want it, always have even when I was human and I always will, but this time for the first time ever I wish I could take it back" _in a soft whisper she almost missed.

He tossed back a drink as she noticed the regretful look in his eyes and expression replying "_I don't know but I will talk to him for you but I cant promise anything, you hurt him way more then you ever tried to do with your eternity of misery promise" _softly.

He slightly shook his head agreeing with her and was surprised when she added "_but its not entirely your fault, Elena is also to blame, she strung you both along like Katherine did and he will see that eventually" _softly.

Damon looked at her with a regretful expression replying "_I don't think he will but I like your optimism" _in a small whisper before tossing back his drink.

She softly smiled at him hating that he looked so hurt and angry with himself and she had a feeling that he felt like history had just repeated itself and he let it and it was why he was beating himself up.

The silence was broken when her phone rang and she answered it saying "_Stefan, what is it" _rolling her eyes thinking he was being far too clingy for her liking since she only spoke to him earlier today.

She looked at Damon who had smirked at her response and she knew he was also listening as Stefan asked her did she want to hang out and Damon was just waiting for her to jump at the chance to get away from him.

Caroline didn't hesitate as she looked at Damon and replied "_not tonight, I'm with a friend, maybe some other time" _softly before hanging up the phone.

Damon was visibly surprised replying "_you can go if you want, I'm sure he would be better company" _softly.

She shook her head replying "_I'd rather stay here besides your much more fun then Stefan" _before taking a drink from her glass. Damon smirked at her not able to his elation at her preferring to spend time with him over Stefan.

A few hours later they were both drunk as vampires could get when they were asked to leave because the grill was closing for the night. They both looked around and saw all the chairs on the table as Damon quipped "_we are the last ones again I see__"_in an amused tone.

Caroline laughed as the bartender replied "_yeah Damon, we would go out business if it wasn't for you__"_sarcastically in a humored tone as he looked at him.

Damon smirked replying "_it was Caroline too, you know__"_rolling his eyes to which they both laughed as they got up and walked out of the bar.

When they got outside Damon threw his arm around Caroline's shoulder replying "_since we cant go to your__'__s, want to go to mine and finish this bottle off__"_with a mischievous smile holding the bottle he swiped off the table in his hand.

Caroline rolled her eyes not knowing why she didn't want to go home but figured she had so much fun with him that she replied "_lead the way__"_with a smirk of her own.

* * *

They got back to his house he sighed in relief that Elena was gone as he actually forgot about her being there until he walked into the house. He guessed he had such good fun with Caroline that he forgot all about his own drama with Elena and never thought about her once realizing he had a great time with Caroline.

He was surprised she was so much fun as they talked and danced as well as doing lots of shots which he didn't think she would ever do but she proved him wrong. They walked into the living area where Caroline sat down as Damon went and got a bottle of bourbon and vodka and put on some rock music before sitting beside her.

She took the bottle of vodka off him and drank from it when he smirked telling her "_you surprised me tonight__"_as he looked at her.

She replied "_I could say the same for you, your nice when you want to be and I had fun tonight, and I think you did too__"_with a soft smile.

He thought about it replying "_I did__"_softly before tossing back a drink from the bottle.

Caroline replied "_I__'__m glad you did__"_before taking a drink from the bottle. Damon told her some stories about what he got up to over the years and she couldn't stop laughing at them as she wondered would she get to experience some of those stories for herself and if he would have a part in them but she pushed that thought away.

She was broken from her thoughts when Damon quipped "_are you up for drinking games__"_with that mischievous glint in his eyes and expression.

Caroline knew where he was going this replying "_I__'__m more of a body shots kind if girl__"_a little flirtatiously with an expression to match.

Damon faltered and failed to hide his deadpan expression as it was not the reaction he was expecting to which she slightly laughed as he replied "_I__'__m up for that__"_with a lustful tone as he looked at her intensively.

She grinned at him replying "_lose the shirt__" _flirtatiously with a sinful smirk.

Damon was never one to be thrown by forward girls replying "_a girl that knows what she wants, I like it__"_ with a smile before removing his t-shirt.

He peeled it off slowly feeling Caroline's eyes drag over his toned torso knowing she wasn't even trying to look away but he didn't know she was surprised he would do it so easily.

He let the shirt fall on the floor replying "_your turn__"_softly.

She laughed replying "_eager are we__"_in a humored tone. He remained silent as he moved to lie flat on the floor replying "_you know you want it__"_cockily with an expression to match.

She rolled her eyes knowing he right but did he always have to be so forward. She had to admit it was the one thing she liked about him as she proceeded to using his body to do her shots of vodka. When she finished he was surprised she done that as was expecting her not to do it and was even more surprised when she looked at him lustfully and he knew where it was going and fast and he also had a feeling it was her plan all along not that he was complaining.

She looked at him intensively moving to sit with her legs either side of him telling him "_you know they say to get over someone, you should get under someone else" _in a lustful whisper.

Damon smirked hiding his surprise replying "_let me guess, you want to be that someone else" _lustfully looking at her intensively.

She rolled her eyes with a smirk as she rolled her hips on him to which he bit back a moan and sat up crashing his lips on hers to which she returned.

* * *

The next morning Damon woke up to find Caroline lying beside him as he remembered last night events in his mind. They were the last to leave the bar and they came back here as he didn't want to go home alone not that he would admit that to her but he was glad she came back for drinks with him.

He remembered they played drinking games and then the way things got a bit hotter between them and before he knew it she was kissing him and he kissed her back and they ended up in his bed.

He didn't regret it but he was worried that she would think he was using her as an Elena rebound but then he remembered that she made the first move by straddling him when she was doing body shots off him and then kissing him and he didn't exactly say no.

He was broken from his reverie with "_your brooding again, quit it" _in a sleepy tone.

Caroline slowly opened her eyes as she lay beside him facing him and she swore she could see the cogs turning in his brain so she added "_come on, last night was nothing serious, we're friends remember" _as she looked at him.

He rolled his eyes replying "_I just don't want you think you were a rebound or that I was using you" _softly with an open expression.

She remained silent as he turned on his side to face her so she replied "_I know I wasn't but what makes you think I wasn't using you" _in a humored tone.

He slightly laughed at her response replying "_because I wasn't using you and I know you wouldn't have slept with me if you didn't want to, so obviously you did" _in slight sarcasm.

She slightly laughed before moving on top of him replying "_got me on that one" _rolling her eyes knowing he was right.

He looked up at her and before he could stop himself replied "_I had fun last night, we should do it again" _softly with an open expression.

She silently looked at him replying "_we should" _softly before crashing her lips on his to which he returned.

* * *

**thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: thank you for your reviews and alerts.**

* * *

A few nights later Caroline was in her own house after just come back from being out of town all day. Stefan wasn't here which she didn't mind as it gave her time to think about the other night and the whole day after it that she spent with Damon and it surprised her he wanted her company.

She also was avoiding Elena as much as she could because even though Elena said she never meant to hurt him, Caroline didn't believe a word of it not after talking with Damon the other night, she knew he was hurt and was mainly taking it out on himself and coping with it by getting lost in a haze of bourbon and she helped him. She decided to go over to Damon's house and she was surprised to find she missed his company all day realizing she never laughed so much in the two days she spent with him as he told her stories from over the decades that he lived through.

She was about to leave the house when she heard Stefan walk into the living area of her house quipping "_so you finally came back" _teasingly.

He walked over to the drinks table and poured two glasses of bourbon as she turned to face him rolling her eyes replying "_I had things to do out of town today" _shrugging her shoulder.

He handed her the glass and sat down in one of the chairs replying "_so how is your friend that you blew me off for the other night" _curiously.

Her expression changed and her body language tensed up and something told him he wasn't going to like what she was going to say.

She took a drink from the glass before looking at him replying "_you haven't heard" _curiously.

Stefan furrowed his eyebrows replying "_no, heard what" _curiously.

She sat down in the chair across from him replying "_Damon broke up with Elena a few days ago, Elena told me about it and I went to the grill to see if Damon was okay" _softly as she looked at him waiting for his reaction.

He remained silent knowing that's where she was the other night as he processed the information in disbelief that Damon dumped Elena after all the fuss he created as he replied "_he broke up with her, I thought he loved her" _in a muttered tone.

She replied "_I think he realized he doesn't, that it was a Katherine thing but I think he wants to talk to you, he asked me if you were okay, I told him you weren't but you would calm down eventually and that he really hurt you" _softly.

He looked at her replying "_I cant believe he dumped her, why" _quizzically.

She knew why but she wasn't going to tell him knowing that it was Damon's stuff to tell replying "_do you want to talk to him" _curiously.

He thought about it and ignored it asking "_I thought you would be the last person to talk to him, after all he hurt you more then the rest of us" _in a non judgmental tone.

She rolled her eyes replying "_I know but I'm getting over it, I don't want to be carrying around that hatred for the rest of my eternity, I could hate him if I wanted to and I did hate him for a while but any anymore, it takes time and energy to hate someone so I cant be bothered wasting my time hating someone especially since I can understand how easy it is to turn it off, so I'd rather live my life, I nearly died in that car accident and if it wasn't for Bonnie making Damon give me his blood then I would be dead" _shrugging her shoulder. He curiously asked "_you don't regret ever turning" _with an expression to match.

She paused before replying "_no I don't, I hate I had to go through it alone but I wouldn't change it, and I don't want to be alone for the rest of eternity" _hiding the insecurity in her voice.

He softly smiled at her knowing where she was coming from and was surprised when she added "_I said this to him and I will say it to you, I'm not interested in becoming another Elena, I've already been with Damon and I see you more like a brother so let me make it clear, I will not play you both like Katherine and Elena did, if me and you and me and Damon are going to be friends for the rest of eternity then you both need to understand that" _firmly with an expression to match.

He looked at her with a soft smile replying "_I know you wouldn't do that and I'm glad Damon has someone, I just wish he had of known this ages ago before everyone got hurt" _softly.

She slightly laughed replying "_this is Damon, he jumps in feet first without thinking about it" _in a humored tone.

Stefan slightly laughed replying "_that is true, he's an idiot most of the time but he's my brother, I need him and he hurt me, okay Katherine used both of us and I suppose that wasn't his fault, but he didn't care this time" _softly not hiding the hurt in his voice.

She softened her expression replying "_I know, but I do know he really regrets it, I think it was a Katherine thing and it was too late before he realized that" _softly_. _

He thought about it replying_ "I don't think he would care if he never saw me again" _softly.

She slightly nodded her head before replying "_I do know he really wants to talk to you" _softly.

He looked off to the side wondering did Damon really regret it and if it was just a Katherine thing then did that mean he wasn't over Katherine because he loved Elena.

He looked up at her asking "_do you think me being with Elena was a Katherine thing" _curiously.

She thought about it before replying "_I don't know, I think only you know that" _shrugging her shoulder.

Stefan muttered "_I should of just let her die in the river that day" _rolling his eyes.

She rolled her eyes replying "_which time, the first or second" _in a humored tone.

He slightly laughed replying "_I just wish I never came back here, she has caused so much drama and hurt for her own entertainment" _tiredly as he looked off to the side.

She shook her head in agreement replying "_I know" _softly.

He snapped his head up to look at her replying "_I thought you would have defended her since you are meant to be her friend" _curiously.

She replied "_doesn't meant I can't see what she is really like, Elena wants it all, just like Katherine did, the only difference between them is with Katherine you know what you are getting because she admits it, but Elena just denies everything and doesn't realize she is just as bad because she doesn't want to see she is hurting you both by stringing you both along instead of making a choice and sticking to it" _softly.

There was a silence as he thought about his next question although he had a feeling he knew the answer but he needed to put himself out of his misery so asked "_did she sleep with him" _not hiding the hurt in his tone.

Seeing the way Caroline tensed on the spot told him everything as he pushed "_she did, didn't she" _softly.

She looked at him replying "_yeah she did, but I know Damon really regrets it now" _softly.

Stefan slightly shook his head in disbelief finally realizing she was just like Katherine, only worse because she denied ever having feelings for Damon but at least Katherine admitted to wanting them both.

He hated things had gotten this far and he wondered did Elena just like stringing them both along for her own entertainment knowing their whole relationship was now a big fat lie.

She watched him silently as he replied "_a bit late now, its like Katherine all over again" _before taking a drink from the glass.

She replied "_how so" _in a curious tone.

He didn't know why he decided not to lie replying "_I wanted her but never said or did anything about it, we both wanted her but Damon was the one who was all over her, and when he went to war in 1863 she made her move on me but I guess she never told Damon that as she was using us both" _before taking a drink from the glass.

She looked at him quizzically knowing this wasn't the story she heard from Damon as she replied "_and did you tell him that" _firmly.

She didn't know why she felt so pissed off at this confession knowing that Damon told her a completely different story as he replied "_no, he wouldn't believe me anyway, he wanted to believe that I stole Katherine from him, but she chose me when she came back to hand Elena over to Klaus and she even told him" _shrugging his shoulder.

She was furious that he blamed Damon for stealing Katherine from him when it was the other way around as she replied "_so the Elena thing was his payback" _curiously.

Stefan sighed knowing what he was about to say would change everything and it was something he didn't want to think about as he replied "_maybe, Damon is the vengeful type" _softly.

She glared at him retorting "_you really don't know him as well as you think you do" _angrily.

He slightly laughed remembering Damon had also said that to him replying "_I don't know if he or Elena told you, but Katherine compelled me not to be afraid of her and when I turned I realized I never loved her, I was scared of her, scared of what she was, our father hated vampires and we were told to do the same thing, I didn't want anything to do with her, Damon didn't care what she was, he told me she never compelled him, so everything he felt for her was real" _before taking a drink from the glass.

A silence fell and as she thought about it before replying "_you know I had feelings for Damon at first and when I found out what he was I was scared of him, but when I turned I remembered he compelled me not to tell anyone and to not be afraid so I can understand that but maybe your feelings for Katherine were really there but you were so scared it put you off her and that was when she compelled you, just like Damon did with me even though he was using me and wanted to kill me, unlike Katherine" _rolling her eyes.

Stefan picked up on the slightly angry tone in her voice replying "_I wouldn't have let him kill you" _genuinely as he looked at her.

She believed him replying "_I know and you did" _softly with a smile to match.

She added "_so why did you blame Damon for stealing Katherine" _curiously.

He thought about replying "_it was probably easier then facing the truth, that Katherine was a manipulative bitch, but I don't think Damon has gotten to that point yet so he blames me when it was Katherine" _before tossing back his drink.

She shook her head in disbelief as she blurted out "_you are both idiots, you know that" _as she looked at him.

He laughed at her words replying "_I know but Damon hates me, when we first turned he told me he didn't want to turn if Katherine was dead, I forced him to turn and because of that he hates me, he promised me an eternity of misery, I guess Elena was part of that payback" _as he rolled his eyes.

She was surprised when he added "_you know we had a dinner with Elijah and Klaus and they told us they were in the same position as us with the original doppelganger and Katherine, I know its wishful thinking but I like to think maybe me and Damon can get to that point and just be brothers again but I know it will never happen" _softly in a regretful tone.

She softly smiled at him as she remembered Damon telling her he regretted it as she replied "_maybe you will be someday, you know when Damon gets over himself" _in a humored tone.

He laughed again replying "_and hell will freeze over" _sarcastically. A silence fell before he spoke again telling her "_I just can't believe it happened again, I cant believe he only realized Elena was his Katherine replacement, and I think that's what she was for me too" _softly.

She softly smiled at him replying "_I know, but maybe it needed to happen so you could both learn from it" _in a soft tone.

He stood up replying "_I need to get out of here, just to think" _as he looked at her. She stood up replying "_want me to come with you" _in a genuine tone.

He smiled replying "_I will be fine, go see Damon, I know this will be hard for him, it was hard for me to realize it all those years ago" _softly.

She hesitated before asking "_will you talk to him" _softly.

He thought about it before replying "_I need time, it hurts too much right now" _evasively. He further added "_thanks for being my friend" _genuinely.

She shook her head in acceptance as he turned and walked out of the room.

* * *

He walked out of the house knowing Damon would probably never want anything to do with him again and Stefan wasn't sure if either of them had it in them to just forget about this whole mess.

He kept walking down the road and into the forest before realizing he was at the old Salvatore house and sat on one of the old fallen down walls thinking of the days before hurricane Katherine came and ruined any friendship he had with Damon.

He knew he didn't really love Katherine since after he turned it and he met Lexi it didn't take him long to get over her and realize she never loved him. He had seen Damon briefly over the decades mainly when Damon decided to show up cause some misery in whatever town Stefan was living in and then Damon would be gone when he got bored of killing people.

He remembered when Damon came back to get Katherine out of the tomb and told him she never compelled him and that was it was real for him. He tried to tell Damon that Katherine never loved either of them but he wouldn't listen and told Stefan that Elena was just another Katherine.

He sighed shaking his head in disbelief knowing Damon was spot on with those words but he also wished that Damon would have listened to his own words instead of letting it get this far.

But he also knew when Damon wanted something, he had tunnel vision and saw nothing else only his target and he was always like that even when he was human.

There was just so many unanswered questions in his head that they were just getting too much and it was enough to send him off on a human blood binge and become the ripper again. But he wouldn't give into it, not after the way Lexi pulled him back from that darkness when she was in corporeal form when Bonnie messed up the spell that made the ghosts enter the living realm.

He remembered how Damon got him out of that dungeon that Lexi tied him up in and they went to a bar after it for drinks and feeding off humans. He remembered Damon telling him he needed to get a grip and learn how control the human blood and maybe one day he would be able to but he just didn't believe he could get control on human blood.

What annoyed him more was that Klaus used it to his advantage and he hated it, but he didn't regret ever making the deal to become a ripper for ten years to get cure for Damon and he knew he would do it again in a human heartbeat because even after a hundred and forty six years he still needed his brother.

He hated that he let Katherine ruin their friendship and while they managed to just about tolerate each other over the whole Klaus situation, it was the longest they had ever stayed in one place together.

He was surprised to find he was glad to just have Damon back in and was glad that Damon didn't leave town like they agreed after Elena made her choice. But he also wished Damon did leave because then history wouldn't be repeating itself but it was too late now as the damage had been done. He wondered if Caroline was right in saying that it was probably a Katherine rebound for Damon.

But he wasn't too sure if the rebound thing applied to him as he thought he got over Katherine a long time ago and wondered did Elena have qualities that he wanted to be there in Katherine but never existed in Katherine.

He sighed thinking Klaus and Elijah was right in saying that Elena deserved better, maybe she did deserve better then just being his and Damon's Katherine rebound.

He just didn't know, he was too confused and all the questions swimming around his mind were starting to get too much. He needed answeres and there was only one person who could give him those answers.

* * *

Over in the boarding house Damon was sitting in the living area with a glass of bourbon in front of the fire hating that everything was all messed up and he was the whole cause of it and even worse he regretted it wishing that he realized Elena was just a Katherine replacement a lot sooner then he did. He knew Caroline was out of town for the day as it was the only reason she left his house this morning and even though he didn't want her to go and she said she would come back that night, he couldn't help wonder if she really would come back.

He didn't want to sound desperate by calling her even thought he really missed her company. And if he was honest he didn't know how this 'friends' thing they were worked so he just got drunk to pass the time until she came back.

He hadn't seen Stefan either and he was a little suspicious as to if Stefan was with Caroline but he knew she would have told him if she was, so he figured Stefan was just avoiding him like the plague and he couldn't blame him as he done the same to Stefan when he first turned into a vampire.

If he was honest any other time he would be glad Stefan was gone and he wouldn't have to put up with his brother's annoying lectures and presence but actually found he hated it, the silence was deafening and he couldn't wait for Caroline to come back to keep him company as she was the only one still talking to him. He took a drink from the glass deciding not to call her thinking if she really wanted to be here then she would come and he wanted to see if she really wanted to be here and it also surprised him she had stayed with him.

He knew he done a lot of idiotic things over the last century and half but this one really outdone them all as he wondered if he should just leave town knowing no one would miss him. He decided more bourbon was needed as he felt the ball of anger in the pit of his stomach keep growing in intensity and when stood up he fired the glass in the fireplace watching the small contents of alcohol in the glass causing the flames to momentarily explode in the fireplace.

He sighed in frustration walking over the table and picking up the bottle of bourbon when he heard her walk in the front door as he thought that was his question of if she would come back after his meltdown the other night answered although it wasn't the answer he was expecting.

He looked up seeing it was Caroline as she quipped "_so that's where all the glasses end up" _teasingly.

He rolled his eyes knowing she heard the whole thing replying "_I can buy new ones, wouldn't be the first time" _shrugging his shoulder.

She slightly laughed sitting down as he added "_I have a thing for breaking glasses, makes me feel better, I figure the resident witch would prefer it wasn't a human throat the I ripped out because that can be arranged" _bitterly.

He picked up two bottles of bourbon before sitting beside her and handed her one quipping "_I'm all out of glasses right now" _rolling his eyes.

She shook her head in disbelief taking the bottle off him replying "_I wonder why" _sarcastically as he tipped his bottle of hers before they both started laughing.

She took a drink before adding "_yeah Bonnie can be a bit too judgmental, you should have seen her attitude to me when I first turned, she hated me, although she has gotten over herself a little, she takes the witch thing way too seriously" _rolling her eyes at the last bit.

He chuckled looking at her replying "_oh I know, I think she has a thing for me, with always wanting to set me on fire or something" _in a drawling tone.

She laughed replying "_maybe its more to the fact you keep antagonizing her, its like you go out of your way to annoy her" _in a humored tone.

He thought about it before replying "_could say the same for her" _with a smirk.

She slightly laughed shaking her head in disbelief knowing they were both as bad as each other not that they would ever admit to it.

He paused before adding "_I'm surprised no one else has been over to try and kill me, but we all know they hate me so I don't care but then they are probably all around Stefan" _rolling his eyes. She looked at him replying "_probably because they know you would kill them as quick as you would look at them" _softly.

He shook his head in agreement replying "_that is true, the only reason I haven't is because of Elena, the only reason I don't drink from the source anymore is because of Elena, its like I became what she wanted me to be, you know what I mean, its pathetic" _disdainfully.

She picked up on the underlying hurt in the tone of his voice replying "_but you can just go back to who were before you came back to get Katherine out of the tomb" _as she looked at him.

He looked at her replying "_that's just it, I cant, I had everything switched off, I was all about Katherine for a hundred and forty six years and somewhere along the way, I got lost, I forgot who I am" _in slight frustration.

He took a drink from the bottle before adding "_I don't know who I am anymore, I just know I cant be what other people want me to be, what she wanted me to be, she wanted me to be like Stefan and I may not know who I am anymore but I know I'm not Stefan, and I cant live that way, I'd rather die then live like that, you know" _softly with an open expression.

She looked at him replying "_I know, so don't be what they want you to be" _softly.

He looked at her replying "_its all I've ever had to deal with, everyone always wants me to be more like Stefan, what the fuck is so special about him, he's a fucking ripper, he's killed more people then I have in my whole vampire life and I'm the bad guy" _angrily.

She shook her head in agreement knowing he was right replying "_maybe people don't want to see that or he is just better at hiding it, I think you don't hide who you are but Stefan does, you act like a vampire but Stefan acts like a human and denies being a vampire and I think that's why people like him more but they don't realize he much worse when he can be when he gets a taste of human blood" _softly.

He smirked thinking finally someone got what he had been thinking all along replying "_finally someone else who gets it" _rolling his eyes before looking off to the side.

A silence fell and he could feel her eyes on him so quipped "_ask me" _looking up at her.

He had an idea what the question might be and saw she was hesitating so added "_you can ask, I don't mind" _softly.

She paused before replying "_what's it like to give into you nature like that, I cant feed on a person without killing them but sometimes I think about it, like if I'm angry I want to kill someone but I stop myself because I know Bonnie, Elena and Stefan would disapprove" _looking off to the side.

He sighed wondering how the hell she hadn't snapped and killed someone yet so he replied "_its all about control, its good to give into it, makes everything so much clearer, gets rids of the anger you feel, we are vampires, not humans, if you want to give into you nature, then do it, just snatch, eat and erase" _shrugging his shoulder.

She looked up at him waiting for him to laugh at her but it never happened as he added "_you shouldn't let Bonnie, Elena and Stefan tell you how to live, they will never understand that you can control it" _softly.

She paused before adding "_will you show me to do it, I can do it on my own but I just want to learn how do it properly" _softly.

There was a silence as he thought about it but if anything he was more angry with himself for not showing her how to do it as he replied "_I will, I'm sorry I didn't show you how do all this when you turned, I'm sorry for trying to kill you again" _genuinely.

She looked at him and saw his honest expression so she believed him replying "_thank you for showing me, you know Klaus told me ages ago that vampires don't have to live by human morals, maybe he was right" _softly.

He slightly chuckled replying "_I think Klaus was right about a lot of things but he still annoys me" _disdainfully as he rolled his eyes.

She slightly laughed replying "_he really isn't as bad as you all make him out to be, okay yes, he's an original that cant be killed, but if you stay on his good side and stop trying to kill him, he will leave you alone" _slightly shrugging her shoulder.

He turned to face her replying "_yeah I saw that when we worked together to kill the first hunter but I still don't trust him" _firmly.

She rolled her eyes replying "_and that's good, but if you kill him, we all die and I don't want to die yet" _before taking a drink from the bottle.

He paused knowing she was right replying "_still doesn't mean I cant piss him off and that I have to like the guy" _sarcastically to which she laughed.

They fell into silence and he found he was glad she was here and he was even more surprised that she was the not one who was still here as no one else give a crap about him, but then it wasn't like they had any reason to care about him but he also knew she didn't either and he silently swore he would never hurt her again.

She broke the silence looking at him telling him "_I talked to Stefan earlier, he said he needs time but I think he is more mad that you didn't realize all this before you hurt him" _softly.

He looked up at her replying "_I know, me too" _softly.

She softly smiled at him and he thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad this time because at least he would have someone to help him through the mess he made. They drank in a comfortable silence with neither of them feeling like making small talk but rather just enjoying each others company. They didn't know how long they had been sitting there but with the nearly empty bottle of bourbon sitting in front of them, they knew it had been a few hours. She was broken from her thoughts when he stood up taking the bottle out of her hand and putting them both on the table before he took her hand pulling her off the chair and led her upstairs to his bedroom.

* * *

The next day they were sitting in the living area with a glass of blood when they heard footsteps entering the room and they both looked up to see Stefan in front of them asking "_can we talk" _softly as he looked at Damon.

* * *

**thanks for reading.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: thank you for the reviews and alerts**.

* * *

Damon froze and for the first time ever he was speechless mainly because he wasn't expecting Stefan to be the one who wanted to talk. What he was expecting was for Stefan to either kill him or to never speak to him ever again and do everything he could to avoid him for the rest of eternity.

He was glad when Caroline was the one to break the silence when she interjected "_I will go, give you some privacy" _as she looked between them both.

As she stood up she ignored the slight feeling she was going to be another Katherine and Elena, it made her uncomfortable so she was getting out of here.

Damon watched her get up not wanting her to leave but he didn't want to ask her to stay as he never one to ask anything of anyone and he wasn't about to start now. He managed to clear his throat replying "_you can stay if you want, I'm going to tell you anyway and you know how I hate to repeat myself" _in a calm tone of voice hoping she would.

She turned to look at him and seeing his cold expression with the pleading look in his eyes she faltered before replying "_yeah okay" _softly as she sat back down beside him.

Damon was glad she stayed as he didn't think he could face Stefan on his own, he didn't care if he was a coward, he mentally laughed at himself for being able to face up to Klaus every chance he got but he couldn't face his brother right now on his own. But then he knew Stefan's game of manipulation in trying to make out it wasn't his fault and Damon was the bad guy as always.

He watched as Stefan walked across the living area to get a glass or bourbon before sitting down and the air was thick with tension that Caroline swore she would choke on it if someone didn't speak soon.

She was about to break the silence when Stefan looked at Damon asking "_why did you do it Damon, did it make you happy" _firmly.

Damon looked at him finding he didn't have it in him to be sarcastic about it so replied "_Katherine and no it didn't" _firmly.

Stefan looked at him quizzically replying "_it was all a game to you, wasn't it" _curiously.

Damon narrowed his eyes as Stefan added "_it was all part of your eternity of misery promise, wasn't it" _softly.

Damon slightly smirked as he finished off his glass of blood before replying "_no it wasn't a game" _firmly.

He thought about the second question replying "_I don't know, maybe it was but then you did steal Katherine from me, so consider it payback, guess we're even now" _nonchalantly with a cool smirk.

Caroline rolled her eyes not one bit surprised Damon was getting defensive as she got up for some bourbon and came back with two glasses handing one to Damon when she sat back down.

Stefan looked at him replying "_I never stole Katherine from you, she came on to me when you left for war in 1863" _firmly.

Damon smirked retorting "_but I still had her first, you knew I was with her but you just couldn't help yourself, you couldn't say no, could you" _in a harsh tone.

Stefan faltered knowing he had a point so replied "_she compelled me to want her and not to be afraid of her, when I found out what she was, I was scared of her, I didn't want her anymore and that was when she compelled me" _softly.

Damon spat back "_well she didn't compel me, it was real" _icily.

Damon rolled his eyes adding "_but she still chose you, didn't she, and anyway you broke up with Elena, I could have gotten in there sooner but I didn't, I waited, unlike you, you stole Katherine off me when I was still with her, so don't sit there pretending your more honorable then I am because we both know your not" _disdainfully.

Stefan remained silent knowing he was right but then replied "_you know I wanted her but I didn't do anything about it, you did what I couldn't do, you went after what you wanted, but when you left in 1863 she made a move on me, she was using us both" _firmly.

Damon scoffed "_still, didn't exactly say no, did you" _firmly with a cold glare. Stefan faltered replying "_no" _softly.

Damon hissed "_didn't think so" _scornfully.

Damon glared at him wondering if Stefan was telling the truth about how Katherine made the first move on Stefan but he didn't quite believe him as he tossed back the drink in the glass in one go before getting up for the bottle of bourbon.

He sat back down with the bottle adding "_but then it was only a matter of time wasn't it, we all know what a slut she is" _disdainfully.

Stefan curiously asked "_so why go after Elena then if you hate Katherine" _softly.

Damon took a drink from the bottle before replying "_transference, maybe it was some twisted Katherine rebound thing, I don't know but I know now all I ever saw in Elena was qualities I wanted to see in Katherine but I think they are more alike then I cared to admit, until now" _softly.

Stefan was surprised at Damon's admission and it showed and it also got him thinking at he replied "_I wonder if it was the same for me" _so low Damon and Caroline just about heard it.

Caroline watched them both in an uneasy silence waiting for a fight to break out but it wasn't happening much to her own surprise but she didn't dare intervene as she still felt uncomfortable being witness to such a private conversation but for some reason Damon wanted her there so she stayed plus she was learning more about both of them by the minute.

Damon replied "_she compelled you, remember, and you're also not the one who spent over a century obsessed with getting her out of a tomb she was never in, so don't feel bad about it" _sarcastically.

Stefan laughed at Damon's ability to make funny comments even if they were true in a serious conversation and it also helped ease the tension.

Stefan remarked "_and I just spent a large part of the century slaughtering everything in sight and I also hung out with Klaus for a few weeks, so go figure" _sarcastically to which Damon laughed.

There a silence for a few seconds before Stefan asked "_do you really regret it and was it also part of your misery promise" _curiously with an expression to match.

Damon looked up at him replying "_yeah and no" _before falling silent.

Stefan was surprised as he thought Damon wouldn't have regretted it and that it was part of the eternity of misery promise he made all those decades ago back in 1864.

Damon saw his shock adding "_don't look so shocked, you know I always go after what I want, but I waited until it was over between you both, I saw my chance and I took it, but it made me realize I was never over Katherine, I wanted Katherine all along, I know now if Elena didn't look like Katherine, I wouldn't want anything to do with her, I just wish it hadn't gone so far" _sincerely.

Stefan was surprised at Damon's honesty but he didn't know how much Damon wished he never came back to this town.

Stefan blurted out "_and the eternity of misery promise" _hesitantly.

Damon slightly laughed before replying "_it has nothing to do with it, but I will never forgive you for forcing me to turn and I will never forget it, I never wanted to turn, not without Katherine and you know it" _harshly.

They didn't see Caroline's shocked expression that Damon was forced to turn but she stayed quiet knowing Damon would probably tell her later when they were alone.

Stefan slightly shook his head replying "_I know and I'm sorry but I needed you, I couldn't do this eternity thing without you" _softly.

Damon retorted "_well you got what you wanted, didn't you" _disdainfully.

He took a long drink from the bottle silently watching Stefan for a reaction and when Stefan didn't say anything Damon added "_thought so" _angrily.

Stefan didn't know what to say to that as at the time all he could he could think of was that he was in this alone and it scared him, he relied on Damon a lot when he was human and he knew he couldn't do the vampire thing without Damon so that was why he forced him to turn.

Stefan looked at him replying "_that I night I was so scared, I just killed our father and then I had this bloodlust and I knew I couldn't do it alone, I needed you, I just didn't think you would hate me for eternity" _softly.

Damon smirked replying "_well he was no great loss anyway, so you done us both a favor by getting rid of the scum, I only wish I got to see the disappointment on his face when he saw it was you who killed him" _disdainfully.

Damon further added "_you knew I never wanted to turn, not without Katherine, I was the one who wanted to get her away from the council members that night, you didn't, that should have told me and you there and then that you never loved her, you would have been better off letting me die" _disdainfully with an angry expression.

Stefan shook his head in disbelief that Damon wasn't getting it so he replied "_but I couldn't, just like I couldn't let you die from the werewolf bite, as much as we hate each other, I still need you" _firmly.

Damon glared at him retorting "_we all know you only done that for Elena" _dismissively.

Stefan retorted "_I wouldn't be Klaus's ripper for ten years for her, I done it for you, like it or not we need each other and you know it" _firmly with an expression to match.

Damon faltered knowing he had a point because he done everything he could to get Stefan back from Klaus under the disguise of doing it for Elena but as much as he wanted to give up he knew that there no way Stefan ever come back from being a ripper for ten years.

Damon replied "_I only done that for Elena, not you" _softly.

Stefan didn't buy it replying "_we both know you didn't, you just wont admit it" _firmly.

Damon rolled his eyes replying "_fine, I done it for you, but only because I owed you" _nonchalantly.

Stefan slightly laughed knowing it all he was going to get from Damon but it was good enough for him.

He curiously asked "_so your saying your feelings for Elena were never real, are you really over her" _with an expression to match.

Damon looked at him replying "_I was never in love with Elena, I thought I was but I think I was still in love with Katherine and projected that onto Elena, the whole hundred and forty five year obsession should have made it all obvious and then I see Elena the second I find out Katherine isn't in the tomb, so go figure" _in disgust.

Stefan looked at him replying "_and you really regret it" _softly not really wanting to know the answer.

Damon thought about it replying "_I don't regret anything but this, I regret not seeing this Elena thing as a Katherine transference sooner, it would have saved me a whole world of trouble, I just replaced one obsession for another obsession" _rolling his eyes.

He fell silent before looking at Stefan adding "_I'm sorry for hurting you, I wish I could take it back but I can't" _sincerely.

Stefan was surprised and it showed but it was gone as quick as it was there as he never thought he would get an apology as Damon never apologized even when he was human so he knew Damon really meant it or he hoped he did.

They fell into a short silence as Damon just drank from the bottle and Stefan wondered if he really ever loved Elena at all or even if she really did love him as much as she said she did.

He broke the silence replying "_I don't think Elena ever really loved me at all, if she did she wouldn't have strung us both along, I knew all along she had feelings for you but I ignored it, I just didn't think she would go as far as she did by sleeping with you, I was stupid for trusting her" _not hiding the hurt in his voice.

Damon looked up at him replying "_guess we both were" _rolling his eyes.

There was a silence before Damon added "_you think we would have seen it when we first saw Elena" _sarcastically.

Stefan looked him replying "_you mean the whole Elena looking Katherine being an obvious sign that it was just us transferring our feelings for Katherine onto Elena and wanting to seeing qualities in Elena that were never in Katherine" _softly.

Damon nodded his head in agreement replying "_yeah and the thing is I know if she didn't look like Katherine, I wouldn't want anything to do with her and the whole thing was so obvious and pathetic but I couldn't see that" _rolling his eyes.

Stefan was surprised replying "_really" _with a surprised expression.

Damon chuckled replying "_yes really, she wants me to something I'm not, she wants me to be another you and I'm not you" _firmly.

Stefan shook his head slightly knowing that was all people wanted from Damon, for him to be someone he wasn't and it was also like that when they were both human as he remembered all the times their father told him why couldn't he be more like Stefan.

Stefan finished off his drink before walking over to the drinks table to refill the glass and sat back down quipping "_our father was right, Katherine was trouble" _before taking a drink from the glass.

Damon laughed replying "_it was the only thing that bastard was right about but when did I ever listen to him" _rolling his eyes.

Stefan was curious and asked "_do you wish it was you that got to kill him that night" _softly.

Damon knew what he meant replying "_no because he would have expected it from me, I was his big disappointment, you weren't so I wish I got to see the disappointed look on his face when you killed him, it would have been priceless" _nonchalantly.

There was a silence and Stefan didn't say anything knowing that their father treated Damon horribly and he didn't blame Damon for his response to his question knowing if it was the other way around he would probably feel the same way.

Stefan hesitated before looking at Damon replying "_I'm sorry for forcing you to turn, it was wrong" _sincerely.

Damon dismissed it with a wave of his hand replying "_we've been over that Stefan, I'm over it, besides I quite like being a living dead guy, just wish I didn't waste the last century and a half on Katherine and then Elena" _in disgust.

Stefan narrowed his eyes replying "_I thought you said you would never forgive me" _curiously.

Damon rolled his eyes hating that he just contradicted himself replying "_oh I wont but I'm not going to be bitter about it" _firmly with an equal expression.

Stefan couldn't help push asking "_and the eternity of misery promise" _in a teasing tone.

Damon glared at him with narrow eyes realizing what Stefan was trying to do so he slightly laughed replying "_don't push it" _in a humored tone to which they both slightly laughed before falling into a silence.

* * *

They continued talking for a while before they were interrupted when Stefan's phone rang and he answered it to which Damon and Caroline listened in and heard it was Klaus.

Stefan hung up the phone and looked at both of them telling them "_its Klaus, he wants to talk to me" _softly.

Damon groaned replying "_maybe we should just tell Klaus to get the damn cure himself since he knows where it is and the three of us can ditch this town for more fun and drama free places" _tiredly.

Stefan sighed replying "_I know but Klaus wants her human again to make his hybrids and I also promised her I would do this for her" _pleadingly.

Damon retorted "_let her fucking deal with it, why cant she just accept being a vampire, you don't see me or Caroline whining about wanting to be human again and does she really want to be Klaus's blood bag for the rest of her life" _angrily with an expression to match.

Stefan rolled his eyes thinking there was the Damon he knew all to well but it was nice to have the less angry side of Damon while it lasted and he hadn't seen that side of Damon since they were human.

Stefan replied "_I don't know but I know she cant handle being a vampire, so if I do this for her then I can leave and we will never have to see her again, we will be free of her" _softly.

Damon glared at him shaking his head in disbelief before angrily replying "_just go Stefan, you continue being the knight in shining armor if you want, we all know that's your gig, not mine, but I'm done" _nonchalantly mixed with a defensive tone.

Stefan was about to say something but never got the chance as Damon got up and walked out of the room and he silently looked at Caroline who wore a surprised expression.

But she also knew that Damon could change his moods as quick as the speed of light so she wasn't surprised he stormed out of the room. Caroline watched Damon leave wondering when he would finally explode before she looked at Stefan who was slightly laughing to himself.

She got up curiously asking "_you okay" _as she moved to stand in front of him.

He rubbed his face with his hand replying "_yeah, I was just surprised Damon held that in for so long, he doesn't normally show that amount of restraint, at least around me, I was waiting for him to snap ages ago" _as he looked at her.

She replied "_me too" _in a humored tone.

He replied "_thanks for being here even if we sort of forgot about you being here" _sincerely knowing if it was Elena she would be interfering constantly but Caroline just let them talk it out.

She shook her head replying "_it wasn't my place to say anything but your welcome" _genuinely.

He softly smiled replying "_I guess I should go, he gets pissed if I'm late" _sarcastically.

She teasingly quipped "_I wonder why" _sarcastically to which they both laughed.

* * *

When Stefan left the room she went to find Damon and found him down stairs in the cellar pacing the floor in front of the fridge where they kept the blood bags. He looked up at her as she came down the steps and he quipped "_you know how I said I would teach how to feed fresh" _more of a statement then a question.

She stood in front of him replying "_yeah" _curiously.

He slightly smirked before replying "_you want to go now" _hesitantly.

She shook her head replying "_yeah okay" _softly as she noticed he looked like a caged wild animal trying to escape his prison.

He grabbed her hand and they left the cellar and walked out of the house deciding to go into the forest and kept walking until they came across a camp site. It was dark when they left the house and as they walked through the forest she noticed his cold expression and she knew that he had snapped but decided she was staying and she wouldn't judge him even though she had a feeling someone was going to end up dead.

She knew he was the type of person to keep it all bottled up until he eventually snapped and lashed out which resulted in someone ending up dead which was a possibility of happening right now but she wasn't going to stop him knowing she couldn't stop him even if she wanted to.

She found it strange that she didn't want to stop him but then she could understand his need to just give in to his nature but unlike her he was not used to suppressing that side of him so it was bound to end up with him snapping.

She knew it could happen to her too as she was the opposite in that she always suppressed her nature and she felt like a ticking time bomb at times thinking maybe he was right in that suppressing their nature was not natural for them as vampires so she was decided to just go along with whatever he would do and to hell with the consequences.

They were standing in the shadows of the trees watching the two people sitting in a small clearing around the makeshift fire when he icily mumbled "_perfect, just follow my lead" _keeping his eyes on the target.

She watched him use his speed to get to the two campers and he quickly sunk his teeth into the neck of one of the girls as the other girl screamed in horror. Caroline knew she was right in that he had snapped as she hadn't seen him look so cold since she was human so she ran towards the screaming girl and compelled her to be quiet and stand still.

Then she looked at Damon who was fully vamped out and feeding off the girl and she heard the girl's heartbeat get slower and slower until it nearly stopped. Just when she thought he was going to stop he decided to drain the girl dry of blood and let the body fall to the ground.

She watched him look into the distance behind her and saw his red eyes with the veins but she could also see nothing but pain and despair in his eyes knowing he just stopped himself from killing the girl before deciding to just kill her once and for all.

He watched her silently quipping "_you still want to learn how to hunt" _icily.

She looked at him shaking her head replying "_show me" _softly without hesitation knowing he was trying to push her away.

He compelled the girl to run and when she did he counted to ten and ran after her to which Caroline followed him feeling her vampire yearning to be freed so she let it, she let her face change and chased after Damon and the girl he compelled.

She caught up to them and he was standing behind the girl feeding on her neck when she stopped in front of them and wasted no time in sinking her fangs into the girls neck not stopping even when she felt his hand on her shoulder.

They both heard the heartbeat stop and pulled back letting the body fall to the ground.

He let his face go back to normal asking "_do you hate me now, after you seen what I am really like" _icily but his eyes betrayed the coldness in his voice.

She let her face change back to normal seeing the raw emotion in his eyes and she knew he just wanted to be accepted, and she did accept him, she willingly decided to kill someone because she wanted to feel like a vampire.

She knew everyone else would blame Damon for it so she replied "_no I don't, this was my choice and I would do it again" _firmly and he saw in her expression she meant it and he believed her.

They walked back to the house in a comfortable silence and she was surprised when he took her hand in his so she softly asked "_how come you chose to kill her" _in a non judgmental tone.

He knew she was referring the first girl he killed before looking at her replying "_I wanted to and I made the choice to stop too but I wanted you to see how easily you can make a choice in a split second, its that easy, in a second you can take a life or not take a life, it just depends on how much you will feel better after it" _nonchalantly.

She thought about and saw he had point as she replied "_do you feel better" _curiously.

He paused before adding "_a little" _disdainfully as he rolled his eyes.

She had a feeling he was holding something back but figured he would tell her in his own time replying "_you want to go get drunk in the grill" _curiously.

He slightly laughed figuring she knew him too well replying "_hell yeah" _with a smirk.

* * *

They walked in the direction of the grill in silence and Damon wondered why the hell she hadn't freaked out and run away like Elena or anyone else would, but she stayed even when he was having his meltdown.

It wasn't as bad as his last meltdown where he killed Jessica in the middle of the road but he figured the fact Caroline was with him this time, it helped anchor him and not lose control, she helped him feel like he wasn't going insane over the last few days and she brought a stillness to the whirlwind that was taking place in his head.

Caroline glanced over at him a few times seeing from his expression that he was deep in thought and she was surprised he looked so calm on the outside but she knew on the inside he was trapped in a tornado of feelings he didn't want to feel and she knew he hated it too.

She knew if it was anyone else they would have run for the hills by now but she knew that all people ever done was hurt him and abandon him and she wasn't going to be one of those people so she was staying with him as long as he wanted her to and she had a feeling all he wanted was for someone to stay and listen to him without judging him and she was going to be that person.

They walked into the grill and she was following him when he suddenly stopped so she followed his line of sight and they both saw Elena over at the pool table with Matt. When Elena looked over at them Caroline felt Damon tense on the spot as she thought she was an idiot for suggesting coming here in the first place and just when she was about to suggest they leave Damon had turned and walked out the door.

She ignored Elena's hurt expression and walked outside after Damon finding him walking down the street away from her so she ran after him to catch up with him.

She walked beside him telling him "_it will get easier" _softly.

He looked at her replying "_doesn't feel like it" _tiredly.

She replied "_I know it doesn't, but one day this will just be a memory that you wont care about" _softly.

He rolled his eyes thinking there she was with all her optimism replying "_I don't share your optimism right now, but thanks" _cynically as he looked at her.

She smiled replying "_then I will be optimistic for you" _in slight sarcasm to which he slightly laughed.

* * *

A few hours had passed since they came back to the boarding house and they were sitting in the living area finishing off what was left of the bourbon. Damon couldn't help feel like he was slowly losing control of everything, he had no control over this whole situation and he hated it.

He was so used to being in control that this feeling of emptiness he felt was too much and made him wish he could just turn it all off again as he remembered Rose telling him the switch was a myth. He sighed hating she was right and he knew she was because he had tried several times to go to that place where he felt all the pain and anger he had and then just flip the switch deciding not to care but nothing happened.

He wondered how it all came to this and how he was so stupid to not see it was even worse as he thought he learned after the Katherine fiasco but for history to repeat itself, it just proved he hadn't learned anything at all and he just thought that he was pathetic falling for both doppelgangers.

At least when he had it turned off he didn't have to feel bad about it but this feeling thing was getting even worse since he started to feel everything again after he killed Rose. He didn't know how to handle it anymore, for decades he walked the earth not caring about anything, not feeling anything at all and he missed that, it was so easy back then but not anymore.

Then after he found out Katherine was never in the tomb, that hurt. But when he was willing to give her another chance and she told him she only came back for Stefan and that it was only Stefan that was meant to turn, he knew that was the end of him.

It snowballed from there where small trickles of feelings bled through the cracks of the armor he built around himself over the decades until eventually the pressure grew too much and shattered the weakened walls he hid his feelings behind that was the switch and like tidal wave it swept him away with nothing to hold onto.

He felt like he was just drowning in an ocean of pain and he hated feeling like this, so cold, dead and empty inside and the numbness he felt in the pit of his stomach was so suffocating it made his skin crawl and hate himself more then he already did.

The noise in his head was too much, it was deafening, he knew what it was, it was the remains of his humanity coming back to haunt him and he wished he had the nerve to tear his own heart out just to be free of this misery.

He wondered why Caroline was here after seeing him kill two people just because he could and she also killed one of them as he thought so much for scaring her away but a voice whispered in the back of his mind that he didn't want her to leave.

He wondered if he was testing her to see if she would stay after seeing him at his worst and she did stay and he thought she just might be the one who would accept him and not want him to change but he pushed that thought away knowing it would never happen.

Caroline silently watched him and seeing the flittering emotions across his face and she hated seeing him like this, she didn't know what to do but she figured just being there was better then nothing. She didn't know just how much Damon was glad she hadn't left yet and that she was the reason he hadn't gone insane and he was broken from his reverie when he felt her moved to straddle him and he looked at her seeing her looking at him intensively.

He welcomed the distraction and didn't recognize the look in her eyes, it was one of acceptance and concern and it was something he never received of anyone before, not Elena and certainly not Katherine.

He had a thought that Caroline might actually care about him but he quickly pushed it away afraid that thought was too good to be true. Caroline watched his surprised expression but seeing the lost and defeated look in his eyes was killing her so she moved her hand to his cheek giving a soft smile.

It was out before he could stop it and he didn't care he was admitting it telling her "_I needed you today, thank you for being here" _so softly she almost missed it.

She shook her head slightly replying "_you know I always will" _sincerely and he believed her.

He was also surprised by the tender movement and even more surprised when she kissed him and he returned it pulling her closer to him and deepening the kiss. He trailed his hands up and down her sides letting her know just how much he needed her as he pulled her top off before moving her so she was lying on her back on the couch and removed the rest of her clothes.

She teasingly quipped "_you're a little overdressed don't you think" _with a smirk.

He rolled his eyes slowly opening his jeans and let them fall to the ground before stepping out them quipping "_not anymore I'm not" _with a smirk of his own.

She laughed as he moved to lie on top of her and kissed her again to which she tangled a hand in his hair and resting her other hand around his lower back. As they got lost in each other Caroline felt something different in the way he touched her and kissed her, it was like he needed her and a small part of realized she needed him just as much as he needed her.

She knew what they had now was far different to what it was when she was human and she wondered if one day they would be more then just friends but she didn't push it on him as she didn't want to be an Elena rebound and she also knew he wouldn't do that to her either.

She decided she would be his friend as long as he wanted her around and she would wait for him to see her the way she saw him and she could honestly say she was definitely falling for him again but knew he wasn't ready to hear that just yet.

* * *

**thanks for reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews and alerts and even if you read it anonomously. This is the last chapter in this story, I think it turned out more of a damon/stefan fic then what i had originally planned but i hope i managed to balance in the damon/caroline bits too. **

**The story was more of a psychological one and i was trying to explore Damon's feelings and state of mind a little. I am not convinced he really loves elena, I still think he loves Katherine and sees in Elena what he wanted to see in Katherine but was never there and i thought it was a good thing to explore in a story. **

* * *

Later on that night after they had moved things upstairs to his bedroom they had eventually fallen asleep in his bed or at least Caroline did but for Damon it was a different story.

He couldn't sleep with his mind racing a million miles an hour replying everything that happened over the last few days, especially tonight when Caroline witnessed his meltdown.

Caroline woke and saw him through sleepy eyes seeing him lying on his back staring at the ceiling as the moonlight streamed in through the window and letting her eyes drift over his face and torso right down to where the sheet lay across his lower abdomen.

She saw the light of the moon filtering over him contrasting his black hair and ice blue eyes against his pale white skin and she couldn't take her eyes away from him. She watched his expression noticing he seemed to be fighting an internal battle as emotions flickered across his face and she knew he was deep in thought and that right now he just looked lost.

She knew to the outside world that he portrayed himself as dark, dangerous and deadly but she knew he felt the opposite to how he portrayed himself to other people. She silently looked at him noticing he was lying perfectly still and if he was still human she thought he would have been dead as his breathing was so shallow she could barely hear it even with her heightened hearing.

She hated that she didn't know how to help him and wished she could do anything just so he wouldn't have to feel the way he did hating that the only thing she could do was be there for him but something told her it was enough.

She was deep in thought when she took his hand in hers and he was aware she was looking at him seeing her in the corner of his eye when he softly spoke "_I lied when I said Katherine never compelled me, she did__" _in a whisper.

He paused before adding "_I__'__ve been lying here thinking about it all, I remember her compelling me to leave her room or whenever she got sick of looking at me or wanted to talk to Stefan alone, she compelled me to leave, I don__'__t know why I never remembered that__" _softly.

He turned his head to look at her adding "_I__'__m so stupid, I should have known she compelled me, I__'__m an idiot for not remembering that, I__'__m even more stupid for ever loving her__" _dejectedly as he rolled his eyes.

She moved closer to him putting her arm over his lover abdomen resting her hand on his hip replying "_your not stupid for loving her, she was stupid for not seeing you loved her and would have done anything for her__" _sincerely.

He was surprised she meant it bitterly remarking "_yeah like waste a hundred and forty five years trying to get her out of a tomb she was never in and even worse, Anna told me before she died that Katherine knew where I was and what I was trying to do but she didn't care__" _disdainfully.

She pulled him closer to her to which he turned on his side to face her adding "_I wish you had of been there that night I found out she wasn't in the tomb__"_in a regretful tone.

She picked up on his evasiveness replying "_I don__'__t think I would have been any help__" _softly.

He noticed her surprised expression adding "_you would have saved me a whole world of trouble, I would have just accepted Katherine never loved me and moved on but instead I replaced Katherine with Elena__" _in a self deprecating tone.

There was another silence and he didn't know why he was going to tell her this asking "_do you want to know why I treated you the way I did when you were human__" _softly.

She was visibly surprised he said this because she had thought about it for a long time after but she never thought he would ever tell her not in a million years and she had long since stopped trying to find a reason why he treated her the way he did.

She shook her head replying "_yeah, just tell me the brutal truth, I wont mind, like I said I__'__m over it__" _sincerely.

He saw her expression was genuine so he told her _"__even though I had the switch off, you would look at me the same way I used to look at Katherine, it scared me and I hated it, I felt like I didn't deserve it__" _softly.

She remained silent not knowing why she was saying it but something told her that he wasn't going to snap at her before replying "_I would have done anything for you with no compulsion needed, I could have even loved you more then Katherine or Elena ever could but you never gave me a chance__" _softly.

He couldn't hide his surprised expression feeling the weight of her words hit him and he knew she meant it replying "_I know and it scared me, I wanted to scare you away but you kept coming back to me even though I was horrible to you__" _sincerely.

She saw his open expression and she believed him asking "_why did you want to kill me twice__" _curiously with no judgment in her voice.

He was surprised at her non judgmental tone but then she had surprised him a lot since that night in the grill when he was feeling sorry for himself.

He silently looked at her knowing she meant when she was human and after she turned as he replied "_your humanity, you made me start to miss it so much and then when you turned, I didn't want you to have to live like I did, you didn't deserve to be Katherine__'__s pawn in her game to get back at me, I only said you would never make it as a vampire because you didn't deserve this life, I didn't want you to end up like me__"_softly. She was surprised at his words as she replied "_do you really think I'm stupid, shallow and useless" _hesitantly.

Damon flinched at that not expecting that question and when he silently looked at her he was surprised to see there was no judgment in her expression or in her voice. He silently looked at her before replying "_I may have judged you too harshly when I said that, there is no excuse for it but I was hurting so much and when I saw the way you were so happy and full of life, I wanted to ruin it, I wanted to hurt someone and make them hurt like I hurt and" _letting the sentence fall away not sure what to say.

She answered it for him replying "_and I was the perfect candidate for that_, _you wouldn't be the first person to do it" _softly as she looked off to the side.

He replied "_but you don't know how much I regret it, I regret not giving you a chance, not getting to know you better and considering I know what its like for people to think you are something when you really aren't what they say you are I hate that I done the same thing to you" _scornfully.

She softly smiled at him replying "_we were both different people back then and you may have also been right about the shallow bit and that I talk incessantly too much but I'm working on them" _rolling her eyes at the last few words.

She added "_you really hurt me but you were right, I needed to grow up but you could have been a bit nicer about it" _in a humored tone.

He remained silent mentally kicking himself for making her feel like that so he replied "_if I could take it back, I would but I cant, so how about we start over" _more of a question then a statement.

She softly smiled at him replying "_like I said, we aren't the same people anymore and I'm not going to hold it over you for the rest of eternity, so how about we just forget about it" _in a light tone.

He softly smiled at her not hiding his surprise at her will to forget about it replying "_I can do that and I wont ever hurt you intentionally again" _sincerely.

She knew he was being truthful so she believed him replying" _I blame Katherine and if I ever see her again I will rip her heart out and shove it down her throat__" _angrily.

He noticed the defensiveness in her voice and slightly laughed as no one had ever defended him in this way and he couldn't hide the warm feeling he felt that she was so protective over him and he didn't even want to push it away so he let it remain.

He leaned forward placing a soft kiss on her lips before replying "_I think I love you just for that__"_teasingly to which she slightly laughed.

He pushed some of her hair back from her face adding "_and you know what is worse then all this, I don__'__t hate Stefan anymore for forcing me to turn, I__'__m not bothered about it anymore, I forgave him for it decades ago, its just easier to let him hate me and to let him think I hate him, I didn't risk everything to get him back from Klaus for Elena, I done it for me because I need him and it made me realize if I still hated him then I would have gladly left him with Klaus__" _with a soft smirk.

She knew he was right because if he didn't like you then he wouldn't do anything for you other then mock you. She was surprised when he added "_I also got you back from Jules because I like having you around and I also hate werewolves" _in a humored tone.

She slightly laughed replying "_I thought you only done that for Elena and got me out of the tomb to delay the sacrifice" _teasingly.

He slightly laughed replying "_no I didn't, I didn't even know you were in the tomb, I went with the plan of killing the werewolf and the vampire Klaus had so it would buy some time and when I saw you I was completely surprised, but even if I had known, I still would have come and got you and Elena would have nothing to do with it" _sincerely.

She watched him for any trace of doubt and was surprised when she found he was being completely honest and she believed him even though a small feeling of doubt was present in the back of her mind but she ignored it.

He added "_see if you had of been there that night I found out Katherine was never in the tomb, then all that drama never would have happened because I would have left town" _rolling his eyes.

She couldn't help wonder if he would have left her behind softly asking "_and me" _curiously.

He thought about it before replying "_I would have come back for you, I wasn't in a good place back then so I would have went and got over Katherine and come back for you after a year or so when I knew that I wasn't using you as a Katherine replacement" _softly with an open expression.

She was shocked at his honesty and even though she felt a little hurt he would have just left her but she could totally understand why he would leave on his own but she was also surprised he would have come back for her after he got over Katherine.

They fell into a comfortable silence before she slightly laughed to herself quipping "_next you will be saying you want to leave town__" _teasingly.

He slightly laughed replying "_it__'__s a thought I__'__m considering__" _softly in an honest tone and expression to match.

She was shocked that he was thinking about leaving town wondering did he not want anything to do with her anymore.

He noticed her shocked expression adding "_but don__'__t worry, you will be coming with me this time, I__'__m not going anywhere without you__" _sincerely with a soft smirk pulling her closer to him so her body was right against him to which she wrapped her arms around him.

She couldn't hide her happy expression that he would want her with him because she really enjoyed his company even if he was going through his own crap but she was glad he let her be there for him.

She knew she thought of him as a really good friend and maybe something more if he would let her be that but she decided not to tell him that she liked him more then a friend as wanted him to be completely over Katherine and Elena first before she went there with him.

She looked at him replying "_good because I would go with you__" _softly not telling him just how much she liked him as she was afraid he would change his mind about wanting her around.

He smiled feeling glad that she would finding he had loved her company over the last few days wondering did she consider him a friend knowing that he sure as hell considered her the only friend he had since Alaric and there was no way he was ever letting her go as she was the only reason this he was able to deal with this whole damn mess.

* * *

The next morning Caroline slowly opened her eyes letting them adjust to the sunlight that was streaming into the room through the window and moved her hand out to touch Damon but the bed was empty.

She blinked rapidly as she sat up looking around the room and heard the shower running so she looked over to see him standing underneath the steam filled shower letting her eyes drag over his naked, wet body to which she slightly bit her lip feeling herself wanting him all over again.

She couldn't help drag her eyes away even if she tried but she didn't even want to try as the last time she saw him like this was when she was human but she didn't get to enjoy the view back then like she was now so she was taking advantage of it.

She was so lost in her thoughts she didn't see him looking right at her with a smirk on his face knowing he caught her looking at him like he was piece of meat, not that he minded at all but it was still amusing to watch her.

She was broken from her thoughts when she heard him quip "_enjoying the view" _seductively.

She slightly blushed realizing he had just caught her staring at him and with the shit eating grin on his face she knew he knew she was thinking how much she love to have her way with him as she wondered was she really that obvious.

She simply replied "_the view is spectacular" _in a humored tone. She slightly laughed when he just rolled his eyes and kept looking at her as she looked at him and he wondered just how long it would take her to join him as he could already smell just how much she wanted him and it was intoxicating.

She watched him pour some shower gel into his hand and rub it all over his shoulders, over his chest and down to his abdomen and slightly raised his eyebrow with a small smirk when he saw her slightly lick her lips knowing she was close caving.

She watched him lustfully knowing he was playing with her but she wasn't going to make it easy on him but damn he was making it hard to resist him for much longer especially with the way the water defined the muscles in his arms and shoulders and his torso and the way he was looking at her lustfully didn't help either.

She was broken from her thoughts when he quipped "_oh well, guess I will have to take care of this myself, that's a shame" _dejectedly pointing downwards with a pout on his face.

She slightly laughed as he turned around and she knew it was over, he won but she didn't care so she got up and walked towards the shower. She stepped into the shower placing her hands on his shoulders moving to stand in front of him and she rolled her eyes at the way he was smirking at her with that cocky grin that she knew all too well.

She was about to say something but never got the chance as he just crashed his lips on hers, pushing her up against the wall, sliding his hand down her arm and moving her leg around his waist as he moved into her to which she slightly moaned at the action. She deepened the kiss pulling him closer to her wrapping her arms around him as they started to move against each other in a slow rhythm.

After they were finished she was glad he was looking at her with a happier expression and a suggestive smirk so she quipped "_so I guess your back" _in a humored tone.

He rolled his eyes knowing what she meant replying "_I'm done with brooding, I've done enough of it over the last few days, especially yesterday and last night to put Stefan to shame" _sarcastically.

She slightly laughed at his words feeling glad he was back to his normal self knowing his somber mood would pass eventually.

He sensed her hesitation replying "_after last night, I decided this morning that I'm no longer going to waste anymore time being miserable over Elena and Katherine, I'm getting over them, I'm moving on, you were right, they aren't worth feeling miserable over" _firmly.

She softly smiled replying "_good, so I was thinking we should get out of this town, let Elena just deal with the fact she is a vampire and Klaus just deal with the fact there will be no more hybrids" _firmly.

He slightly chuckled replying "_I agree but I've other plans for you right now, remember you did say I could get over them by getting under you" _suggestively to which she laughed.

She looked at him intensively replying "_is it working" _in a humored tone.

He kissed her again before looking at her replying "_you have no idea how much" _to which she laughed but was it was silenced as his lips fell on hers and they repeated what had already happened.

* * *

Later on that day Caroline had gone to meet Bonnie in the grill so Damon was on his own in the boarding house sitting in the living area feeling really irritated so he tried reading one of the books that was in their vast book collection.

He found it hard to distract himself by reading not able to stop thinking about last night when Caroline joked about how he would want to leave town and this morning when she said they should leave town.

He found she was actually right in that he did want to leave since after seeing Elena in the grill he couldn't look at her anymore, it hurt too much and he just wanted to get over her and Katherine for good.

He knew he couldn't get over both of them by staying here and having to look at Elena every day as it was just a painful reminder of everything that happened. He snapped the book shut putting it back on the self before deciding he was done, he was leaving town so went upstairs to pack a bag deciding to phone Caroline and told him he was leaving town right now and she told him she would be straight over.

He wasn't surprised when she told him she would be ready knowing she would have went with him anyway as she already told him that she would leave with him. He walked from his room towards the stairs with his bag deciding to grab a few bottle of bourbon from his stash and when he reached the bottom of the stairs he heard Stefan walk into the house. Damon walked into the living area to see Stefan sitting in one of the chairs.

Stefan noticed the bag asking "_are you leaving" _quizzically not hiding his surprised expression.

Damon rolled his eyes knowing that would be the first thing his brother would notice replying "_yes I am, I told you I was done with Elena, you can be her white knight" _sarcastically.

He never noticed Stefan's hurt expression as he walked over to the press where the bottles to bourbon were kept and opened the press taking out the few bottles and put them into his bag before closing the press.

Stefan looked at him replying "_but you don't have to leave, I don't want you leave, we can work this out" _firmly.

Damon turned to face him replying "_I'm not leaving because of you, I'm leaving because of Elena, I saw her in the grill last night and I left straight away, Caroline was with me so she will even tell you I did, I cant be anywhere where Elena is, so for the sake of my sanity I need to leave" _sincerely not telling him it hurt every time he saw her.

Stefan believed him replying "_I'll come with you then" _hesitantly.

Damon chuckled replying "_no need little brother" _sarcastically to which Stefan rolled his eyes.

Damon added "_anyway its you and Klaus that wants her human again so I would prefer if you made sure that happens because I don't want her around for eternity, she reminds me of Katherine too much now and its bad enough I will be seeing Katherine again sometime" _softly hiding the hurt in his voice.

Stefan replied "_I will, but I don't want you to leave" _pleadingly.

Damon slightly laughed again replying "_why, will you miss me, I thought you would be glad to get rid of me" _mockingly.

Stefan ignored it replying "_but not like this" _softly as he looked at him.

Damon was surprised he didn't want him to leave so he replied "_look, you had a century and half to get over Katherine, you knew she compelled you, I spent a century and a half obsessed with her and then fixated on Elena when I found out she wasn't in the tomb which just proves I'm not over Katherine and seeing Elena now, she just reminds me of Katherine and it hurts too much, I cant get over both of them if I have to keep looking at Elena everyday" _sincerely with an open expression.

Stefan picked up on the honesty in Damon's voice replying "_I understand, I guess I didn't see it that way" _softly with a fallen expression.

Damon rolled his eyes replying "_don't worry, you will see me again in about fifty years when I'm over both of them and then I will back to annoying you for my own entertainment and keeping up my eternity of misery promise" _sarcastically.

Stefan slightly laughed shaking his head before replying "_are you going on your own" _curiously with an expression to match.

Damon replied "_no, Caroline is coming with me" _softly trying to hide the small smile on his face.

Stefan noticed it but didn't comment on it knowing Damon would just deny being happy about that so he remained silent.

He did ask "_what about Klaus, what do I tell him" _curiously.

Damon rolling his eyes thinking of course Stefan would bring up Klaus, he was always one for thinking about collateral damage even when he was human and still was a century and a half later.

Damon looked at him replying "_tell him I'm done with the doppelganger, he can do what ever the hell he likes with her just once he leaves me alone and I will leave him alone too" _icily.

Stefan noticed the finality in his tone replying "_you really are done with her" _curiously.

Damon replied "_yeah I am, I don't owe her anything and I'm done being love's bitch" _disdainfully.

Stefan knew he was right and he really didn't blame him for wanting to leave town knowing he did not have to protect Elena at all.

Damon shook his head in disbelief replying "_and you think Klaus is capable of a truce, what do you think he will do when doesn't find what he is looking for__" _disdainfully.

Stefan sighed knowing he had a point replying "_I__'__m just trying to keep him on our side__" _firmly.

Damon retorted "_and what makes you think he wont kill us all when we__'__ve outlived our usefulness and he gets what he wants, I haven__'__t seen Rebekah around in a while, I wouldn't be surprised if he daggered her again__" _angrily.

Stefan's expression fell and he knew Damon had a point and just how right he was but he was not supposed to say anything.

Damon picked up on Stefan's tense expression replying "_he did, didn't he, see that just proves my point, we are only good enough for him until we get him what he wants and then he will kill us, I for one do not want to hang around for that__" _icily with an expression to match.

Stefan slightly shook his head replying "_I never saw it like that, but I just feel like it was my fault she is in this mess, she never wanted to be a vampire__" _softly.

Damon sighed replying "_its not your fault, but she is better off just accepting that she will never be human again, you don__'__t see me and Caroline being all dramatic over it like she is, do you__" _firmly.

Stefan shook his head replying "_no__" _softly as looked to the ground.

There was a silence and something clicked for Damon as he replied "_what makes you think Klaus is telling the truth and not just telling you what he thinks you want to hear__" _more of a question then a statement.

Stefan sighed replying "_it has crossed my mind__" _softly.

Damon shook his head in disbelief at Stefan's stupidity replying "_and how do you know there wont be a catch, have you not learned anything in the last century and a half, there is always a catch and if something is too good to be true, then it probably is too good to be true__" _firmly in an icy tone.

Stefan realized he had a point replying "_I never thought of that__" _softly.

Damon calmed down replying "_I know but you need to stop over thinking everything, stop thinking about the people you killed, get some control over the human blood, stop letting the ripper control you and instead you control the ripper and forget about Elena, that is more important then she is__" _softly.

Stefan thought about it before replying "_yeah your right, I will try__" _softly.

There was a silence as Damon looked at him replying "_just don__'__t do anything stupid Stefan, I don__'__t trust Klaus or anything he says at all__" _firmly.

He didn't really feel like talking to Stefan anymore about this anymore and right on cue he heard Caroline walk into the room and turned to face her quipping "_you ready" _in a light tone, more of a statement then a question.

She looked at him replying "_yeah, are you okay I heard shouting__" _curiously.

Damon replied "_yeah, I__'__m just telling Stefan he should leave with us, he doesn't owe Elena anything and he shouldn__'__t be trusting anything Klaus says__" _as he rolled his eyes.

Damon looked over at Stefan adding "_some other time brother" _dismissively before leaving the room.

Caroline and Stefan heard him close the front door behind him when she looked at him quipping "_you know you could come with us, I don't think he would mind" _more of a question then a statement.

Stefan shook his head replying "_he already asked, I cant, I owe this to Elena, its my fault" _softly.

Caroline shook her head in disagreement replying "_you don't owe her anything, just be careful with Klaus, I don't trust anything he says" _firmly.

Stefan slightly chuckled replying "_Damon also said that several times" _as he rolled his eyes to which they both laughed.

There a silence before she replied "_just be careful okay, and I wont be changing my number so you can get in touch with us if you change your mind, don't think I wont stop talking to you either" _softly.

Stefan silently shook his head replying "_I will and thanks for being there for me and for Damon too" _softly.

She shook her head in acceptance before walking out of the room. Stefan watched her leave and couldn't hid the feeling that he was making a mistake but staying in this town but he quickly pushed it away deciding he was doing the right thing.

* * *

Caroline got into the car and looked at Damon asking "_you okay" _curiously.

He smirked at her replying "_I am now that we are ditching this hell hole of a town" _sarcastically to which she laughed.

As they drove off she noticed his expression looked a lot lighter then previous days and she thought that now they were getting away from Mystic Falls that maybe everything would be okay.

Damon glanced over at her seeing her looking out the window and he wondered just why exactly she left with him as he really wasn't expecting her to stay true to her words about leaving but then she was always proving him wrong and he liked it.

He asked "_so where to" _curiously.

She looked over at him to see him looking at her as she replied "_wherever, why don't you surprise me" _in a humored tone.

He slightly chuckled replying "_you might just regret that" _teasingly with a smirk.

She laughed at his expression replying "_maybe, maybe not, we'll see" _in a humored tone as she shrugged her shoulder.

He looked at her quipping "_I just want as far away from here as I can possibly get" _rolling his eyes.

She thought about it before lightly quipping "_how about the other side of the world like the wilds of Siberia" _in a humored tone slightly raising her eyebrow as she looked at him.

He couldn't stop himself from laughing before he looked at her with a grin on his face loving her spontaneity replying "_that's far away enough for me, other side of the world it is" _with a smirk to which she slightly laughed as they drove past the Mystic Falls sign and neither of them looked back.

* * *

**Epilogue**

One year had passed since they left Mystic Falls and they didn't quite go to the wilds of Siberia but spent a few months in China before moving onto Europe where Damon showed her most of the places he had been to over the decades.

They had been staying in the south of France for a few weeks and they were sitting in a bar sharing a bottle of bourbon. Caroline was sitting at one of the tables deep in thought as she waited for Damon to come back as he had been outside feeding off a girl and she was surprised at just how much he had changed since they left a year ago but she also knew she had changed.

She was not the person she was back in Mystic Falls and seeing more of the world with Damon had changed the way she saw herself as a person. She willing went hunting with him and he also taught her how to defend herself in a fight and for the first time she thought maybe this eternity thing as a vampire wouldn't be so bad.

She was even more surprised when Damon let her experience the whole feeding and sleeping with random people like he did for decades but then he still did it himself so they both knew he would be a hypocrite if he told he she couldn't do it.

She was also surprised that the friends with benefits thing they had started back in Mystic Falls was still going but then she had a feeling she didn't really see how she could do better then Damon as he was always honest with her even if she didn't want to hear the truth and she loved that about him.

For Damon it was another story and he was surprised she never judged him for his hunting techniques of snatch, eat and erase and his sleeping with random women. He also knew they had both changed since they left Mystic Falls and he knew he had as he wasn't defensive anymore and was more relaxed but then he had a feeling Caroline had an effect on him.

He knew he could trust her and it was the main reason he felt so comfortable around her as she never judged him even when his impulsiveness got him into trouble over the past year and she always helped him out of it when he needed it.

He had been outside feeing on a girl when he was interrupted with "_so this is where you are, whatever happened to your eternity of misery promise" _in a light tone.

Damon stopped feeding and compelled the girl to leave forget about him and when she walked past him and out of the alleyway he licked the blood off his lips immediately recognizing that voice.

He turned around replying "_well if it isn't my broody little brother" _sarcastically as rolled his eyes.

Stefan slightly laughed replying "_still feeding off the local population, I see" _sarcastically in non judgmental tone.

Damon rolled his eyes dismissively replying "_we're in a city so there will be no local wildlife for you to terrorize which is lucky for them, guess rats will have to do" _sarcastically.

Stefan shook his head in disbelief as he slightly laughed replying "_its good too see you Damon, I've missed you" _sincerely.

Damon hid his surprise keeping a cool expression thinking the peace and quiet he felt for the last year was over as he waited for Stefan to say Elena was here and he hoped to hell she wasn't and he really did not want to see her ever again.

Stefan picked up on it adding "_Elena isn't here, she is still in Mystic Falls, I left a few months after you and Caroline left, have to say you were hard to track down" _in a humored tone. Damon chuckled replying "_you could have just called Caroline, you know, would have made things a lot easier" _with a smirk.

Stefan slightly laughed replying "_felt like doing it the old fashioned way" _rolling his eyes.

Damon slightly laughed replying "_you know, its normally me tracking you down and making you life a misery" _sarcastically as he rolled his eyes.

Stefan smirked replying "_felt like doing a role reversal" _nonchalantly shrugging his shoulder.

Damon slightly laughed rolling his eyes before walking towards him replying "_well if that's the case then you wont say no to a bottle of bourbon" _sarcastically as he walked past him and went back into the bar as Stefan followed him.

* * *

Caroline was broken from her thoughts when she looked up seeing Damon and Stefan to which she was visibly surprised.

They both sat down as Damon quipped "_I found this stray wandering around outside" _sarcastically.

Stefan laughed in disbelief replying "_nice to see you haven't changed" _in a humored tone.

He looked at Caroline adding "_its good to see you again Caroline, I hope my brother hasn't annoyed you as much as he annoys me" _sarcastically.

Caroline laughed replying "_no, you would be surprised what he is like away from Drama Falls" _sarcastically with a slightly defensive tone.

Stefan shook his head in disbelief at the way she was so protective over Damon was and knew there and then they were both different people from what they were back in Mystic Falls.

He was surprised at how relaxed Damon looked and was broken from his thoughts when Damon quipped "_I think we need more bourbon" _before getting up to go to the bar.

When he left Stefan looked at Caroline asking "_what did you do with my brother" _teasingly looking at her with narrow eyes.

She slightly laughed replying "_I didn't do anything, he just got over Katherine and Elena" _slightly shrugging her shoulder as she said it.

Stefan replied "_looks like we both did" _softly in a non judgmental tone.

She was about to say something but never got the chance as Damon sat back down putting a bottle of bourbon and three glasses on the table quipping "_she didn't do anything to me, I just got over the doppelgangers, quite quickly surprisingly, that says a lot about how I felt about them really, don't you think" _disdainfully.

Stefan was curious replying "_so you never really loved them" _with an equal expression.

Damon filled up the glasses replying "_no I didn't, infatuation is a bitch but you get over it very quickly" _rolling his eyes as he pushed a glass towards the center of the table.

Stefan took one of the glasses and Caroline took the other one as Damon added "_so what brings you here, come to check I haven't killed Caroline" _in slight sarcasm with a curious expression.

Stefan slightly laughed replying "_no I didn't, stop trying to start an argument where there isn't one" _dejectedly.

Damon drawled "_relax, I just like annoying you" _rolling his eyes.

Caroline slightly laughed and changed the conversation asking "_so how come you left Mystic Falls" _curiously.

Stefan looked at her replying "_you were right, Klaus was on a wild goose chase all along, we couldn't find anything, I don't think there is even a cure, Elena just accepted being a vampire and she is still in Mystic Falls so I left" _before taking a drink from his glass.

Damon slightly smirked replying "_told you, you shouldn't trust anything he says and I have to say life is so much better now that she isn't around" _softly before looking at Caroline giving her a soft smile.

She didn't notice it but Stefan did replying "_you really are over them, aren't you" _curiously.

Damon slightly shook his head replying "_about time too" _rolling his eyes.

Stefan noticed the way they were both sitting so close to each other curiously asking "_are you two together" _with an equal expression.

Caroline froze and Damon remained silent, both of them knowing it was a question they never dared answer over the last year as they both didn't want her to be a Katherine/Elena rebound.

Caroline looked over at Damon seeing him stare at his glass so she replied "_we don't need stupid, boring, human labels to describe what we have" _nonchalantly shrugging her shoulder.

Stefan slightly laughed at her response replying "_how very liberal of you and very transcended of you" _sarcastically before they both started laughing.

They fell into silence before Damon interjected "_you know what, we are together and you know it as well as I do Blondie" _as he looked over at her.

She looked at him quizzically not hiding the surprise in her expression knowing he was right but she never dared admit it.

She replied "_but what about not wanting to be a rebound" _curiously.

Damon rolled his eyes at her thinking for someone who never missed a thing, she was sure missing his point, looking at her replying "_I've been over them both since about six months ago and I knew three months ago that you were not a rebound" _firmly before taking a drink from her glass.

She swallowed a lump in her throat replying "_you never said anything" _softly.

Damon looked at her replying "_I thought you knew but you're my best friend and so much more and I didn't want to ruin that by saying anything, I cant lose you" _sincerely.

She silently looked at him feeling the weight of his words hit her replying "_me too" _with a soft smile.

They fell into silence and Damon didn't want to continue this conversation in front of Stefan so he looked over at him quipping "_so you staying with us for while or what, we can always get you your own human to turn" _mischievously.

Stefan laughed replying "_I would like that but one thing at a time, I'm only starting to get the ripper under control" _softly.

Damon replied "_good, its about time" _before refilling their glasses.

They drank for the rest of the night and as Stefan and Caroline talked about life since Mystic Falls and what they got up to since they left the town Damon remained silent thinking for the first time in a long time he felt that maybe things could be looking up now that he was over the doppelgangers and just maybe things would be okay with Stefan and maybe he would get his brother back.

He also thought just maybe he could actually be happy for the first time since he turned and he had Caroline to thank for that but he knew from experience to not trust that feeling and was waiting for it to come crashing down around him.

He pushed the thought away deciding to just live in the moment, the here and now or whatever you want to call it before joining in the conversation.

* * *

**The End.**

**Thanks for reading the whole story if you made it this far.**


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